It never ceases to amaze me that you can time and time again think you know what will happen...what is expected.....what is trending with other families....it never ceases to amaze me that we don't take into account what God has planned for OUR family!
Rewind to a week or so ago when we got our email stating they were now going to look into Isaiah's case and either CLEAR us (Which was happening to a LOT of families) or request a Birth Relative Interview (Which was NOT happening for very many families)! Most families were receiving their emails from embassy between midnight and say 2ish. So, that night I tossed and turned and had difficulty sleeping! We had played out scenarios of what would happen in the morning when we cleared - it was bound to happen...it was working out that way for everyone else...surely our case was no different. Midnight came and went...so did 2 and 3 and 4 and 5...by this time it is not the anticipation of clearing that keeps the sleep at bay but it is the dread that something is wrong with our case. My mind started reeling of all the possible scenarios. Morning comes and still no news - I begrudgingly climb out of bed pouting and whining and wondering...email my agency and within thirty minutes the email I'd been waiting for comes through - they are requesting a birth relative interview! BUT...it is too late in the morning to hear back from embassy when it is scheduled for.....again more waiting....planning scenarios in my head....
I go to bed the next night hopeful for sleep and find it! I was so incredibly exhausted from the night before that I wasn't all too worried about the interview date...I was hopeful it would be a week or so out just like Nahome's had been! My heart sank at 4am when I rolled over and saw that the interview was not the following week but almost 3 weeks away. I pouted and whined and may have shed a tear at the injustice of more waiting - - I once again begrudgingly crawled out of bed - - once again disappointed. I zipped an email back to embassy verifying that was the EARLIEST appointment available and to let us know if they could fit her in sooner! I sent this more for my own sanity at trying to control the situation than actually thinking anything would come of it....I HONESTLY did not think I would even get a response. It was once again too late in the Ethiopian day to get a response and now it was Friday so I would have the weekend to settle into my woes of more waiting...
I was SHOCKED to receive another middle of the night email Sunday night that stated they had just received an opening for October 3rd - a week SOONER than the original date! I was ecstatic and yet humbled.....God made me wait all through the morning for the email on Wednesday night......all through the night Thursday night to be disappointed with the results.....all through the weekend to have my spirits lifted at a sooner date....SIMPLY to show me that I AM NOT IN CONTROL....to show me that HE IS GOD!! He could have given us the earlier date from the get go - - but as usual He had something to show us, to teach us!
Okay - now that you've got the recap (mini-sermon) on how last week went...let's fast forward to this week and the anticipation of the birth mom interview! I'm sure that you would have learned from the past experience and trusted in God's perfect timing in the first place...you wouldn't have tried to control or analyze every little thing...you wouldn't doubt God's goodness or fear for the worst! I'm sure that I thought I had learned my lesson....
In anticipation of Clearing once the birth mom interview took place, we went ahead and put some flights on hold! This way we could receive our clearance email early in the night (Again, most fams were receiving their all clear around midnight) and let our travel agent know to book the flight first thing in the morning! Now - this scenario only works IF you get cleared the day of the interview....if not, you just wasted an entire day of your poor travel agents busy life...for NOTHING! Well, as I lay on my couch at 1pm and still at 2pm watching 'Flashpoint' and 'Cupcake Wars' because I can't shut my mind off....I am telling myself that the embassy is really busy so it may take them some time to get the typical midnight email out - maybe it won't come through until 1 or 2. By 3am and 4am my mind is thinking about all the wasted time we had spent finding flights because I JUST knew something had gone wrong with the interview and we weren't going to clear....after all the interview had been over 6 hours earlier - how come we hadn't heard anything!? My mind was on autopilot as I grabbed my phone, opened the email app, pressed the refresh button, every 2-3 minutes for hours on end...
I started PLEADING with God....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let us clear....we are so very ready to bring our son home....please, oh please, oh please (sounds like a spoiled whiny toddler to me)! I was justifying needing to clear because of all the plans we had made and the dates off of work and on and on and on... Once again, God made me wait in anticipation that turned to worry and dread....for an email that FINALLY came through just before 6am (7 1/2 hours) after the interview took place!
God is FAITHFUL and HE (and HE ALONE) has allowed us to CLEAR EMBASSY to bring our son home!!! Not only did we clear though, God wanted to teach me something along the way....it is the same thing He teaches me on a daily basis....He tries often to show me that He's got this...to not doubt when it doesn't go EXACTLY how we expect it to!
God's TIMING IS PERFECT...
~ Because our case needed a birth mom interview, our son got to say goodbye to his mama and she got to hold her handsome boy for one last time before having to let him go...
~ Because our interview was scheduled for October 3rd, dear friends of ours in ET got to take pictures and video of Isaiah with his birth mom...so as he gets older he can always remember the love that she had for him!
~ Because of our interview being scheduled, Isaiah's mama was able to give him pictures of some of his family that he may never see again (priceless treasures).
~ Because our interview was rescheduled for the 3rd instead of the 9th it made it so I would not be missing parent teacher conferences at work....a blessing!
My fear and dread and worry and my disappointment and whining and pouting are NOTHING in comparison to the LOVE that took place today between another Mama who now shares my heart! God knew that she needed her goodbye! God knew that Isaiah needed just a little more time! God knew that I ONCE AGAIN needed to be put in my place and have my lesson learned (Will I learn this time?....God teach me to TRUST You)!
We are so INCREDIBLY blessed that God has called us on this journey to grow our family - - but we are reminded DAILY that we are NOTHING without Him! Please continue to pray for our family as we adjust to adding another blessing to the family dynamic! Daddy leaves on Monday to pick up Isaiah and bring him home!! My son will be in my arms in 10 DAYS!!!!! Pray for safety....health....sanity...and healing!
We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands.
~ Kristi Larson ~
~ Kristi Larson ~
Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it!
~ Fleur Conkling Heylinger ~