Does this need for control - stressed beyond measure of the unknown sound familiar?? If this hits close to home you are the one nodding your head while you are reading this....you are the one that can feel your chest tighten just thinking about someone trying to surprise you with a trip somewhere that you didn't know all the ins and outs of....you understand why I put the words "NEEDED to know" in all caps above! If you struggle with this let me tell you a little secret - there IS a cure!!
The cure is exactly what I told Jarod all summer.....I remind him that he doesn't need to worry about it - to trust me - to not stress - that everything will be okay and work out even if he cannot see what is to come! The cure comes from the One who DOES know what is to come - the One who loves us enough to surprise us even when we don't like the unknown - the One who wants us to trust Him and not stress - the One who wants us to believe that everything will be okay. Now this may be easy for our minds to grasp. We have been told our entire faith journey to trust in God and lean on Him, to not worry or fret because God is in control. But to put it into action is another story, to tell your heart and mind and soul that God really is the plan.
For me the truth came through action and obedience during our adoption journey. God stretched me and molded me into his liking and I am so thankful that He did. It was NOT easy and still is not - but it is worth it. When I got married I had a one year plan - and then a five year plan - and then a ten year plan. When I had kids I had a 3 kid plan - and then a new sister plan - and then God had plans for brothers! When we bought our house I never planned their would be SO many new additions to the fam - chickens, kittens, goats, and kids(the baby goat kind)! When I started teaching I had a plan to settle in and now I'm in my 6th year teaching and my 6th grade level/curriculum change! I think I might be DONE planning....
The thing I am beginning to realize is that I can plan all I want - but GOD will do what is best for us in the end no matter what the initial plan was! You see sometimes our plans line up with God's but often His plan pushes us beyond what our plan is for ourselves! It is our job to trust in His guidance even when we cannot see what is ahead. So, what's the plan???
Many people, including my daughter, have asked us when we are going to jump back into the crazy adoption world and get that sister that started us down this whole crazy journey. Well - to be honest - the plan WAS a TWO year plan! Two years from bringing the boys home we would start the journey to add a little more pink around here. We are almost ONE year in and I can honestly tell you that there is NO plan! We trust that God will lead and guide our family if and when it is HIS time! My hubby talks about what he thinks we should look into next time for our daughter (country, age, etc.) I just smile and shake my head - our silly planning - remember what God did last time!! We were requesting a little sister for Leah and she got two older brothers out of the deal! God will do whatever He sees fit - which could be scary...but worth it! SO - our plan is to enjoy our family while God continues to work in and through us! We trust that God's plan is all that we need - even when we cannot see it!
I had lots of plan for the kids and I over the summer and I can tell you that we have had some of the BEST times just hanging out and enjoying being together! It has been busy and crazy but it has been refreshing to my soul to get to know each of my kids on a deeper level! I LOVE spending time with them and it has been neat to watch them grow and develop into children who are willing to follow God's plan for their lives. Feeling blessed to walk this journey...
"We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps."
~ Proverbs 16:9 ~