Well - - since I last wrote we have had a couple of milestones. We celebrated Nahome and Isaiah's TWO YEAR Gotcha days! It feels just like yesterday that I first took them in my arms and hugged them for the first time. And yet it feels like they have been a part of our family forever - woven into our family dynamic. When I look back at how far we've come I am blessed beyond measure at God's Hand in it all.
It is interesting to look back on how our family has progressed. I vaguely remember a blur of about 5 years of diapers and crying and exhaustion - it was full of pregnancies and babies being born every other year. The few following years were full of tantrums and cuddles and sticky fingers on the windows. As a mom, I was still exhausted and usually covered in someone's snot but my heart was full and I felt like I was finally starting to get the hang of this whole parenting bit.
Well -God was not done with us yet - - not even close! He wanted our obedience, our hearts, our home, our family to be willing to follow His lead. We started down an emotional and exhausting journey to find ourselves and God's heart, while growing our family through adoption. It is one of the HARDEST things that I have ever done, and yet I CANNOT imagine doing anything else!
There were a LOT of tears and hard days in the beginning. It is amazing to think of how far we have come. Weekends were hard - holidays were harder -and life was filled with fear of setting someone off and visions of all the therapy that the kids would need when they grew up. Slowly but surely the fist fights turned into bro hugs and our family dynamic molded into our new us.
There are hard days now - days when everyone is bickering with each other - days that if I see another eye roll I'll jab my eyes out - days I watch my son whirlwind into attention seeking behaviors because of his deep rooted grief from his past - days my daughter cries and asks when will she get a sister to help fend off all the 'love' from her brothers - days my heart hurts for family across the continent that miss out on the sweet bedtime kisses and soccer goals that I get to witness in their place.
With five kids in my home and my heart I have come to realize a few things - there will always be someone mad at someone else - there will always be someone hungry - there will always be an empty fridge - there will never be an agreement on a movie - there will always be someone mad about what's for dinner - there will always be clutter and laundry strewn throughout the house (no matter how many times you tell them to pick up after themselves).....but I am also thankful that - - there will always be someone to cuddle with on the couch - there will always be someone to give me a hug when I'm having a bad day - someone always winks and says I love you when I check on them in the rear view mirror - someone's little hand always finds mine when walking in to church - someone is almost always giggling and laughing at something.
My family looks nothing like what I thought it would when I was a little girl and dreaming of my future Ken and Barbie life and boy am I thankful. God had bigger and better plans and I love my not so little family! I am so very excited to see how far our family has come and where He will take us next! God is not done with us yet - not even close...and boy am I thankful!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our family to yours!
We pray this Christmas that you will take the time to reflect and remember how far God has brought you and your family. We pray that you will consider what God has done and what He wants to do in your lives. We pray that you will also realize that God is not done with YOU yet and that you will seek HIS will in the coming year!