Do you ever feel like a caterpillar? Do you ever find yourself all wrapped up waiting for God to work in your life - to change you and inspire you to come out anew? Do you ever feel like the caterpillar that is waiting and waiting for the cocoon - wondering when God is going to change you and use you and transform you?
Coming through two international adoptions, one state-to-state foster adoption, and three full term pregnancies - - I have had my fair share of waiting and of feeling all wrapped up in a cocoon! The anticipation of what it will look like on the other side - - the fear of the unknown - - the hunger for the change - - the sense to just trust and let it play out how it's meant to. Looking back over my life I can see times of crawling through the leaves, and times of change and transformation that comes in the wait, and there have been times of emerging on the other side to find new gifts and wings that have taken me to new levels and adventures.
I recently read a blog post written by a fellow adoptive mom about the blessings of adoption and fostering. It was on the cost of change that we choose to have in our lives - - emotional, financial, marital, etc. She mentioned that we go into adoption and parenting wondering what it will cost us - - and let me tell you it DOES cost! It costs blood, sweat, and tears - - oh so many heart wrenching tears! The adoptive mama of the blog post was bold enough to ponder - what if the reasoning behind our parenting is not for us to bless them....but what if it is because of the blessings that they turn out to be in our lives!
As a mother of SEVEN - as a mother to belly babies and babies that don't share my DNA - as a mother to teenagers all the way down to my five year old - as a mother to my five boys and my two precious princesses - - as a mother....I will tell you that the blessings are MINE! I feel like I was crawling around as a caterpillar - oblivious to the blessings that God had in store for me! He wrapped me up in motherhood and asked me to trust Him and let Him guide my life and that He would bless me in return and give me wings - wings to fly - and wings to see the world anew - and wings to change lives - and wings to inspire....and you know what? The wings that He gave me are my children - - each and every one of them!
I have pondered and reminisced a lot lately of the journey that God has brought me on as a mother! My oldest belly baby turned thirteen this year, our Ethiopians have been home for almost four years, and we brought home our newest two three months ago! Seven blessings that I don't deserve and that I didn't even know that I needed in my life - but I do! I need each and every one of them and God knew we were meant for each other. I am so thankful that I trusted God to walk this crazy journey that He has given me.
As I spend time with my kiddos and get to know them more and more I feel like they are on their own journey of finding their wings. Some of them are just munching and crunching through life growing and roaming, oblivious to what is to come. Some are wrapped up inside their cocoon changing and transforming into what God has planned. Some of the older ones are starting to peak out of their chrysalis. They are trying to find themselves and see where their wings will take them. Each of them are growing and changing and blossoming into amazing little blessings! I am so thankful that God put me in their lives for these moments - for the befores and the afters...for the bright times and the dark times...for the new times and the waiting. I am thankful that I am getting a front row seat as I watch my blessings change and transform and grow into all that God has in store for them.
Whether you find yourself waiting-yearning for God to wrap you up and create a change in your heart...or maybe you are deep within the cocoon as God changes and prepares you for what is to come...or you are emerging into the light with a new vision and passion - - wherever God has you - - I will tell you the same thing that I desire for each of my children to understand as they are on their own journey to find their wings....God is with you through it all and He will see you through and it will be far more than you could ever hope or imagine!
So trust the process - - be changed and renewed and come out with wings to take on the world!