I recently started a mom's Bible study group called "Beautiful Mess". It is based off of the movie "Mom's Night Out" which is SO GOOD (totally go see it if you haven't). I have been inspired and motivated by the daily reading and the lessons included in it. When I watched the movie tonight I was reminded of a couple of things!
**ONE** Motherhood is NOT always pretty!! Motherhood is hard and EXHAUSTING!! It does not matter if you have a newborn...five year old....ten year old....twenty year old....a mama heart is ever present - always worrying - wanting the best - trying to fix things and make things ideal. The truth is that motherhood is a mess sometimes - full of those moments when you want to scream or cry or eat chocolate in a closet!! Those moments when you feel outnumbered or on the verge or past the point of no return. Those moments when you wonder how you got into this mess - why you got into this mess - how do you get out of this mess! Motherhood is hard....but important!
**TWO** You are NOT the only mother who has moments!!! You are not alone in feeling EXHAUSTED and worn down (physically, emotionally, spiritually). When you see other moms who have it all together and they are the perfect soccer mom....they AREN'T!! They are having a good moment....but all moms struggle and it is okay to share in each others successes and lean on each other in moments of chaos and eye twitching stress!! It takes mothers of all stages and ages to walk beside each other and encourage!
**THREE** Our kids will need us differently each stage they are in! There may be diapers and bottles and carseats....or there may be homework and iphones and sleepovers...or there may be boyfriends and driver's licenses. Each new stage will bring a different role from mom. I am learning that it is hard to watch them grow and mature and start having some independence. The worry changes from them getting diaper rash or skinning a knee - - to worrying about who their friends are and what they talk about when we're not around. They begin to push away, trying to find their own footing on their life. You wonder if you taught them enough - if you loved them enough - if they know God enough!
** FOUR** I think it is an innate feeling for mothers to second guess themselves. To always wonder if they are doing enough - if they are scarring their kids for life - if they are blowing it! I loved the part in the movie when the mom says "I'm not good enough." She was asked "For who?" She responded with "for my husband, my kids, God..." The response was, "No....for you! You are not good enough for you!" So often we set the bar for ourselves SO high - Unattainably high - and then act defeated when we cannot live up to our expectations!! What do we expect???
* Now it is important to know that I am TOTALLY preaching to ME!! I am as guilty as anyone else of being a control freak, feeling defeated as a mom, second guessing everything I do, and wondering if I am good enough! Motherhood is hard and I have had (have) my fair share of moments - those not pretty ones where your mascara is running and either you are hiding out from your children or your children are hiding out from you! I have had those moments of wondering what have I gotten myself into - feelings of being outnumbered - and even feelings of regret. What I have come to realize through this study is that I am a mess....but I am God's mess! If He can make me into a masterpiece and bless me with being a mama, then He will help me along the way! To God - To my husband - to my kids....I am ENOUGH....but I need His help to be who they need me to be!
Here are some of my favorite quotes I've run across so far from my "Beautiful Mess" study!
* "Mom, you do not have to have all the answers. In fact, you won't always have the answers!"
* "Our craving for approval can be devastating to our souls, making us feel like we're not enough for today or tomorrow."
* "Our weaknesses and struggles nudge us to reach out to others and ultimately show us how much we need God in every detail of our lives."
* "We become so overwhelmed at the thought of tomorrow that we forget to focus on today!"
* "Satan wants us to feel overwhelmed at every rebellious choice our kids make and every time they shut down into a wall of resentment."
* "The expectations were my own....built around my desire to look like I had it all together."
* "God decides our encounters, we decide our engagement."
* "When they push back, ignore it, lean in, and keep pursuing your teen."
* The mere fact that we get through parenthood and can share sweet memories on the other side gives us a hope for the future!"
I hope that this encourages you moms out there - to keep leaning on God and realizing that you are right where you need to be - being the mom your kids need - with the help of our Father! Keep at it mamas - YOU ARE ENOUGH!!
We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands.
~ Kristi Larson ~
~ Kristi Larson ~
Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it!
~ Fleur Conkling Heylinger ~