THREE YEARS - Our family will NEVER be the Same!

It started out as a typical Sunday morning - THREE years ago today!.  We went to church - prayed and praised God for the family and gifts He had given us!  Started lunch in our kitchen and Josh rocked our world with the question....."What do you think about adopting a little sister!?"  If you know anything about our story then you know that God led us on an emotional and stretching few years to bring not a sister into our home but TWO brothers.  If you don't know our story - I encourage you to go back to the BEGINNING of our blog and read up....to God be the glory!

God started us out on our journey - that started with kicking and screaming and hesitancy and quickly turned into having our eyes open to a whole new level of God's love and compassion.  He worked in and through us - He taught us to lean on Him and follow His leading for our family.  Well - TWO years ago today we looked into the eyes of a sweet little boy that God allowed to be our son!  I reread my post from that day and it brought tears to my eyes - - read about it HERE!  God had it all planned out - down to every little detail...including his name - - read about it HERE!

God was not done with us yet and has taught us SO MUCH MORE over the last TWO YEARS!  About love and grace and patience and mercy and grief!  Here is the video that we made to introduce Nahome to the world all those many months ago.....pay CLOSE ATTENTION to the last picture in the frame.....a boy who seemed to be on the sidelines but like I said - God was NOT done with us yet - - read about it HERE!

Today - THREE YEARS from starting this journey - TWO YEARS from seeing his sly little smile we have a healthy, giggly, bouncy young man who brings SO much joy to our lives!

I cannot imagine our family without him.....

Or Him....
to God be the glory!

DO SOMETHING

I heard this song on my way to church - - I'm ready to DO SOMETHING!  How about you???

I woke up this morning 

Saw a world full of trouble now 

Thought, how’d we ever get so far down 

How’s it ever gonna turn around 

So I turned my eyes to Heaven 

I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”

Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of 

People living in poverty 

Children sold into slavery 

The thought disgusted me 

So, I shook my fist at Heaven 

Said, “God, why don’t You do something?” 

He said, “I did, I created you” 

If not us, then who 

If not me and you 

Right now, it’s time for us to do something 

If not now, then when 

Will we see an end 

To all this pain 

It’s not enough to do nothing 

It’s time for us to do something 

I’m so tired of talking 

About how we are God’s hands and feet 

But it’s easier to say than to be 

Live like angels of apathy who tell ourselves 

It’s alright, “somebody else will do something” 

Well, I don’t know about you 

But I’m sick and tired of life with no desire 

I don’t want a flame, I want a fire 

I wanna be the one who stands up and says, 

“I’m gonna do something” 

We are the salt of the earth 

We are a city on a hill 

But we’re never gonna change the world 

By standing still 

No we won’t stand still 

No we won’t stand still 

No we won’t stand still

Awakening

I have been meaning to write for a while but just wasn't sure what to say.  My blog has always been a place of therapy and healing for my soul.  A place to pour my heart out and share my fears and joys.  It is not only about me though, I want my posts to make a difference.  I want those reading them to be moved and feel as if my words were thought out and heartfelt.  I have been busy being Mom to 5 kids but to be honest - over the last many months I didn't really feel like I had much to offer in a blog post.  My words were muddled and my heart wasn't feeling much to share.  I am beginning to see why and I want to share with you what I am learning.

Have you ever been run through the ringer emotionally??  Not just the highs and not just the lows - but this crazy cycle of both!?  I will try to paint a picture for you.  For 2 years we poured our heart and soul into our adoption journey - an adoption journey mind you that we didn't even know we were destined for.  Over those 2 years we dealt with fear, stress, joy, courage, trembling, shock, elation, confusion, frustration, weariness, heartache, compassion, awakening, anger, bitterness, feelings of being overwhelmed, heartbroken, filled to the brim, eye-opening, feelings of being insane, tired, crazy, joyful, thankful, grateful.  You could pick any combination of these feelings and often I would feel them on any given day.  I have had some of my highest of high moments and lowest of low moments over these last couple of years!  Adoption is an EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER - it is NOT for the weak at heart.  We learned more about God's grace, mercy, strength, love, compassion.  He opened our eyes to what He wanted us to see - and I'm telling you it was not always pretty.  It was often heart wrenching and humbling.  I have never felt closer to God than over these 2 years - I poured my heart out to Him for direction and guidance for protection and comfort for my children (His children).  These emotions came to a climax as the boys came home - then we spent the next many months over the last year and a half helping our boys process those some crazy emotions listed above - grief and anger, confusion and sadness, happiness and joy, experiencing firsts and the fears that come with it, reminiscing and remembering, yearning and weariness.

After 3 years of high EMOTIONS I have realized that I was on emotional overdrive for so long that somewhere along the journey it turned into survival mode.  I was truly doing little more than surviving - at times I felt as if I was even failing at that.  My emotions were spent and spread thin - I felt washed up and dried out.  I felt as if I had lost my passion and fire - like there wasn't enough strength left in my heart to feel passionate about anything while still clinging on for survival.

I woke up one morning over the last month or so and realized that my heart yearns to feel again.  Survival mode is not good enough any longer.  God has been speaking in that still small voice kind of way - stirring my heart.  It feels like a fog is lifting and God is awakening something in me.  I want to have a direction and purpose - to feel like I am making a difference in the world around me.  I want to cling to God and seek his guidance in my life.  I want to feel passionate for what God is doing in and through me!  I know that it may not always be easy and that it may not always be comfortable but I'm ready for God to grow me and use me and show me more of His heart!

In church today we sang Life Song and the second verse hit close to home and I could feel God continuing to awaken my soul!

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

I am ready to stop merely surviving and start living again!  Who is with me??  

Stay tuned to the blog - I think God has BIG plans for us as He continues to Awaken our hearts!