That is....until the first week of October! I was scanning through adoption sites looking for kids to submit inquiries on. This is something I did every few days. As I opened up a site - that I hadn't been to for a while - a couple cute little faces popped up and my heart jumped a beat! I read their profile, elbowed Josh and showed him their picture and gave a little gasp as I told him "Babe - these could be our kids!". Now - you have to know! We had submitted inquiries on over EIGHTY sibling groups over the last 5 months. There are lots of wonderful kids, but these are the ONLY kids that I had felt this way about. Josh's response was "Well - maybe they are. Last time you elbowed me when you saw a cute little face - God brought us Nahome!". I remember thinking to myself - - wake up and pay attention! You wanted to be aware and watch God unfold each step along the way - this is the start of their story! Could it really be? I didn't know, but I had hope in my heart for the first time during this adoption and I didn't want to miss a thing.
We submitted our homestudy and waited to hear - just like we did with all of our inquiries. A couple of weeks went by and our case manager got word that they were looking into some In-state families but said to check back in about a month to get a status update. "In-State Only" was something we were all too familiar with! There were MANY inquiries that we were declined because they were wanting to keep the kids in state to be near other family, etc. As we got news that they were looking in-state for these two, we chalked it up as another dead-end inquiry. BUT - - I couldn't shake them. My mind wandered to them often - my heart hoped for them - and my thoughts were filled with prayers for them. They said to give it a month...so we waited and went on with life as usual.
Well, three and a half weeks later we got an email that they had been given approval to look out of state and they wanted to have a phone conference with us! This is the first conference call we had been asked to be a part of and we were beyond elated that it was with the kids who had stirred our hearts. We were excited and hopeful that God would work it all out. We had to wait through the weekend for our time with the team - our minds were reeling and we were antsy and anticipating how it would all work out. We knew we would get to learn a little about these sweet kids that God laid on our heart and to try and show them a little glimpse into our family and our hearts - to wait and see if God opened or closed doors. The call was amazing - we felt such peace about the kids and their needs. We felt that we opened up and showed them who we are and were real with them and laid our hearts out for them to see. We felt that we allowed God to speak through us. As the call ended we were even more certain these kids might become a part of our family! We found out that we were 1 of 5 families in this phase of the process and that they would be taking a couple of weeks to finish up interviews and meet to make a decision about these kids that had become so special to us.
As we went through the Thanksgiving holiday, and the first few weeks of December with all the traditions of Christmas shopping and decorating - our hearts yearned to know if these were our kids and how next Christmas would look with them in it. We begged and pleaded with God - hoping that His plan would match with what our hearts were aching for! We trusted that God would open or close the door to these two - but we knew we would be devastated if it closed. We continued to search adoption sites and submit inquiries - but honestly each inquiry I made felt hollow. I didn't really want any of them to be mine - because my heart had already been taken. My mind wandered and wondered through all the specifics - where would they sleep, go to daycare, how will we tell the kids, what will it be like when we first meet them? My heart also worried about the heartache if it wasn't us - if God closed the door. We just had to wait and trust and pray.
We were told after our phone conference that they would be making a decision THIS week! Needless to say - I have had trouble sleeping and my heart raced each time my phone beeped! We've anxiously awaited the time to know if this door is closing - - or if our hearts and arms get to open wide and bring them into our lives! Well - - - this morning we got the call that our family was chosen!! God worked it all out and He allowed a spark in our hearts that started a couple of months ago to grow into a yearning and a love for these sweet kids we haven't even met! We are excited to announce that our not-so-little flock will be growing by TWO - - a little 6 1/2 yr old brother and a cute little 4 1/2 year old sister will be joining us in the next few months!
We don't know what the future holds and we know there will be tough times ahead as transitions happen and our family finds it's new dynamic. But today - our hearts are full and we are at peace knowing that God loves us and has given us two more beautiful blessings. And you know what - looking back now that part of this story is revealed...there ARE little bits! There are little bits of this story that date back to last year - - some to over four years ago when we started our first adoption (just shortly after this daughter was born) - little bits that point to these kids being in our family and God orchestrating it all!
We aren't sure yet what the guidelines are on sharing information -
but we are pretty sure we can't share their beautiful faces. SO - this will have to do!
** Please continue to pray for us - - for our new kids as they find out that their life is going to be changing. For the kids currently in our home as they prepare for the plans to come. For us as we make travel plans and finalize paperwork. That we would continue to trust in God's plan and His timing!
Merry Christmas from our flock to yours - - we know it will always be a Christmas to remember!